A Lesson in Obsession
by ByakkoNoMiko
Summary: There's a fine line between artistic apreciation and total, maniacal obsession. A very short lesson on when to seek help. You know you watch too much Fushigi Yuugi when...


[It was a normal day in the Japan National Library, until two young girls from America arrived on the front steps, staring up at the doors hopefully]  
  
Ren: Well, Meg-chan, we're finally here. It took eight months of your baby- sitting money, and me hacking into several government websites, but we finally made it.  
  
Meg: ::strikes a dramatic pose:: Watashi wa sekai wo kaeru!  
  
Ren: ::sweatdrops:: Meg, just because we're in Japan, doesn't mean you have to speak Japanese all the time. You only know how to say five things.  
  
Meg: ::completely ignores her:: Tamago! Tamago! Watashi no Tamago!  
  
Ren: ::rolls her eyes:: Let's go. People are starting to stare at you and we have to find the restricted section before we get arrested again.  
  
[The two girls stride up to the doors, and quickly pass the juice machine, only to find that the restricted section has, unfortunately, been locked. Posted on the door is a notice that reads:  
  
Sir or Madam,  
  
We have been forced to lock this door as a result of too many fans of a certain anime series, known as Fushigi Yuugi, forcing entry into this reference only area. If you would like to access one of the books in this room, please talk to a librarian at the front desk. However, if you can answer yes to any of the following questions, we ask that you please vacate the premises immediately  
  
You search every shelf in the library for booktitles somewhat resembling Universe of the Four Gods  
  
Upon finding said book (or dilluding yourself into thinking that an ordinary cooking book is said book) you repeatedly try to force your way into the book.  
  
When you find that the book refuses to suck you in, you throw such a fit that the librarian asks you to leave. (Bonus points for the number of libraries you've been banned from in the fashion)  
  
You insist that your school uniform (or other clothing items) are links between you and your best friend.  
  
You convince your best friend that your school uniform (or other clothing items) are links between you and your best friend.  
  
You irritate all of your friends (or random strangers if you've progressed to the point where no one will come near you) by adding no da (or you know?) after almost every statement that you make.  
  
Once you found out what zodiac symbol each of the Seishi's constellations stood for, you formed a habit of checking all of their horoscopes daily.  
  
You pass time in boring classes by folding little paper fans and pretending to shoot flames from them.  
  
You've actually gotten kicked out of several classes for accidently yelling "Lekka Shienen!" while playing with your fans.  
  
Impressed by Hotohori's marvelous ability to fit all of his hair into his tiny hat, you often sit at home and attempt to fit *your* hair into a boxlike hat.  
  
You paint (or draw) small red symbols on your body and meticulously reapply them after showers.  
  
You attempt to duplicate Tasuki's spells by writing the names of the Suzaku Seven on pieces of paper and throwing them into the air.  
  
You're extremely disappointed when the Suzaku Seven don't actually show up.  
  
You've developed an unnatural fear of clam shells.  
  
One day, after deciding that you are indeed, a Priestess of one of the four gods, you set out on a search to find your seven celestial warriors. (This includes terrorizing innocent people by strip searching them and demanding to know if they have symbols written on their bodies)  
  
You actually suceed in finding your seven celestial warriors. (Or you're sued and convicted of sexual abuse)  
  
You waste half a gallon of hair gel trying to get your hair to defy gravity like Chichiri's.  
  
You now believe that blood transplants can be given by pouring blood onto an open wound.  
  
Your attention is automatically caught when anyone around you finishes a sentence with "you know?"  
  
You've memorized all of Amiboshi's songs and are now able to play them on several instruments. (Bonus points if you learned to play the flute in order to accomplish this)  
  
You search countless animal shelters and pet stores for a cat that resembles Mitsukake's cat.  
  
Upon finding such a cat (or altering another cat to look the part) you attempt to channel your chi through the cat to reach the seishi in Konan.  
  
You think that you've actually made contact until you realise that it's just one of your family members, friends, or better yet, a complete stranger telling you how strange you are.  
  
You attempt to duplicate Suboshi's moves using a pair of yo-yo's. (NOTE: Do not try this if you have not already, as it can be extremely hazardous to your health and the health of those around you)  
  
You've often daydreamed about the land inside Chichiri's hat.  
  
You dressed up as one of the characters on Halloween. (Bonus points for Tomo, Ashitare, or Miboshi)  
  
You dress up as one of the characters every day. You scare me.  
  
Unfortunately for our intrepid heroes, neither of them could read enough Japanese to understand the above notice. Thinking it to be a janitorial notice, they decided to force their entry anyway. As a result, they spent the next week in a Japanese prison on charges of damage to library property, assaulting a librarian, disturbing the peace, and involentary battery. They were released only when the prison guards could not handle any more recitations of "Absolute Destiny Apocalypse."]  
  
Let me know what you think! ::grins:: 


End file.
